“Planned Parenthood. How may I help you?” My breath caught in my throat. The words wouldn't come. “Hello?” the voice on the other end of the line asked.
“Hi, I, uh, need to make an appointment.” I cringed at how small my voice sounded.
“And what is this appointment regarding?”
I squeezed my eyes shut, as if that would somehow keep me from hearing the words I needed to say. “I need...” But I couldn't say it. If I did, it would make it real. “I'm doing a report on abortion and I, uh, wanted to speak to a doctor.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line. It seemed to go on forever, but couldn't have lasted more than a second. Within that second I could feel the shame and terror I'd stuffed down deep inside me well up, ready to burst out. Luckily, before I could dissolve into a puddle of choking sobs, the operator spoke.
“Honey, how old are you?”
“Seventeen.” There was another pause. A longer one.
“You can get an appointment to see a doctor for your ‘report,' but in the state of Missouri you need a parent's permission if you're under eighteen. Is that going to be possible for you?” For a long moment all I could do was sit in my cocoon of sequins and satin, taking quick, shallow breaths while something inside me shattered.
“No. I don't think that will be possible. Is there, uh, any way...”
“You can petition the court, but that can take a while. And you'll probably need a lawyer.” She said it gently, but I got the sense that she'd had this conversation more than once and knew exactly how laughable her suggestion was.
“Oh. Okay. I don't think I'll be doing that. The report's not that important. Um, thanks for your help.” My finger was sliding to the end call button when the operator spoke again.
“There are other places where you don't need parental permission for your... report.”
My finger froze over the button.
“There are?”
“Yes. Where do you live?”
“Columbia.”
The line went quiet while she accessed something on her computer.
“It looks like the closest place for you is in Albuquerque.”
“There's an Albuquerque in Missouri?” I asked, confused.
“No.”
“Oh.” I cleared my throat, nervous. “Um, about how far away is that from Columbia?”
“Nine hundred and ninety-four miles.” [...]
I sat on the hard, graffiti-scored toilet seat in the women's restroom and tried to stifle my tears. No boyfriend, no bus, no hope. I was out of options. I could see my dorm room at Brown fading away. Instead, I was going to be spending my fall putting together a nursery with my sister's secondhand baby gear and being slowly crushed to death by my father's disappointment. At this thought, I let out a fresh sob.
I really, really did not want to press the doorbell.
I pressed the doorbell. [...]
“Sorry to bother you. Are you busy?”
Bailey snorted. “Super.”
“Look, I know we're not as good friends as we used to be. But you're the only one I know with a car and...” I could hear the nerves in my voice. I'd worked out a rough idea of what I was going to say on my way there. But Bailey had a way of ruining any plans I made. However, for once she simply stood there, waiting for me to get to the point, a faint frown creasing her forehead. “I mean, if I could just go to somewhere in town or even St. Louis, I wouldn't ask you, but the closest place is Albuquerque and –” Bailey held up a hand and waved it at me to stop speaking.
“Closest what?” she asked, her voice slow from whatever she'd been smoking. I blushed.
“Place. You know. To get the procedure.” I watched as she mentally put the pieces together. A delighted grin spread across her face.
“Hold on. You want me to be your escort?”