I come from a place in Philadelphia that reminds me of a Charles Dickens book we
read in English. The Tale of Two Cities one that's set in Paris and London during and
after the French Revolution. But the place I come from ain't nowhere close to Europe.
I'm from Fairhill. It sounds pretty, don't it? And for a lot of outsiders, the name is the
only pretty thing about it.
Most folks are Puerto Rican. Julio tells me this neighborhood has the highest rate of
Puerto Ricans outside of the island. I don't know why, though. It doesn't look anything
like pictures of the island I've seen. Blocks and blocks of two-story row houses, concrete,
fenced-in yards, and vacant lots. People have had a lot to say about our neck of the
woods, but in general, they should probably keep their neck out our business. This part
of North Philly has one of the highest crime rates in the city, or at least that's what the
newspaper reports. They call us part of the Badlands, but when you stay here, you know
there's a lot more goodness than is reported in the news.
Sure, we have gang fights that happen to the soundtrack of gunshots, but we also have
dance crews that perform at the summer block parties. We have el Centro de Oro, the
strip of Puerto Rican shops where you can get everything from oversized flags to island
spices to hand-carved mortar and pestles. We have corner-store owners who hand out
candy during Halloween, and the barbershop on the block that keeps a cooler of cold
water out front in the summer. We got the rec center where most of us grew up doing
our homework, where I received teen-parenting classes and counseling while pregnant,
and we got the cultural center a few blocks over that has art workshops, free English
lessons, and even brings in live bands for concerts.
Maybe it's more than just a tale of two cities; it's a tale of two neighborhoods. […]
'Buela comes into the kitchen and turns on the radio. The sound of Marc Anthony1
wailing alongside an orchestra fills the kitchen. I would wrap my soul in a bow and sell
it with the quickness to be able to cook for Marc Anthony. That man can sing. 'Buela
pulls out the herbs that she gets directly from el campo in Puerto Rico and sets them on
the counter. The sweet-smelling yerba buena, the Caribbean oregano. She hands me the
knives before I ask for them, cleans the cutting board before I realize I need it rinsed.
Some days, when my feelings are like this, like a full pot of water with the fire on high,
I don't know what to cook. Plans and ideas escape my mind and instead I let my heart
and hands take control, guided by a voice on the inside that tells me what goes where.
I push aside, or maybe I push forward, all the things I feel. […]
My hands move on their own, grabbing and slicing and mincing. And 'Buela and I are
making music alongside the radio, the clanging of pans, the mortar against the pestle,
our voices humming.
When all the sounds stop, including the radio, it's like I'm waking out of a fog.
The stove is turned off. 'Buela wipes down the counter and folds the dishrag before
turning
to me. I lift the pot lids and see that I've made a fragrant yellow rice with
cilantro. Somehow, black-eyed peas found their way into the rice, but I can tell from
the smell that it works. The chicken looks juicy, and smothered in onions, it's cooked
perfectly without a thermometer. The green salad with a spinach base is crisp. Not
a complicated meal, but one made for comfort.
I plate 'Buela's portion using one of the lessons I learned from the cularts textbook:
the starch on the bottom and the protein on top, sauce spooned over both; a separate
bowl for the salad.
After the first bite, she closes her eyes, and when she opens them, she is in tears.
She laughs when she wipes her eyes. “Look at me crying! Like this doesn't happen every
time, nena.”
I don't often ask questions about how people react to the food I cook. It makes my
belly squeeze tight to know my dishes might have an effect I don't mean them to have;
like something inside me left my body and entered into the pots and pans without
a permission slip. But today I need to know. “What did it make you feel, 'Buela?”
She squeezes her napkin in her hand and doesn't look at me as she moves her fork
around the plate with the other. “It brought back a memory of being a little girl and
staring out at the ocean. And wanting so badly to jump right in and swim far, far away,
and being scared that if the water ever went above my neck it would swallow me whole
and never spit me back out.”
I nod and take a bite of my own food. No memories spring up, no new feelings.
The only thing that happens is my taste buds respond to the tangy and salty notes.
“Even that memory, of longing for what I was afraid of, warms me up. Like a candle
being lit from the inside. You were given magic, nena.”
I let go of a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. I don't know much about pathogens
and storing sugar, but damn if I don't know how to cook good food that makes people
hungry for more, that makes people remember food is meant to feed more than an
empty belly. It's also meant to nourish your heart. And that's one thing you won't ever
learn from no textbook.
1. Marc Anthony is a famous Puerto Rican singer.